August 2011
28 posts
“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening[…]Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
—
Alice Walker (via dahlias-y-rosas)
I fucking hope so.
(via afractalparticle)The girl next to me on the subway today had scars up and down her arms. “WE ME” was freshly carved in and I could see faint remnants of old pains etched in white along her forearms. She broke my heart.
There was a dullness in her eyes that you only see in people who are tired of life’s pain. I envisioned her pushing over that edge of self-mutilation, channeling her sadness into blood, just to feel something again. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that things would be ok. But I suspect for her they won’t be. Not if that’s where she had traveled to. Not if she’d already given in to that kind of release. It’s hard to return from that precipice.
It crushes my soul to recognize the deepness of pain. It makes me wonder why people have different tolerances for the lows that life brings. I understand depression. I understand desperation. I wish I could achieve the impossible feat of bringing people out of their misery. But, in reality, I must focus on keeping myself from yearning for nostalgia and falling into my own patterns of self-medication.
Keeping my face turned to the light; braced against darkness.
Today's note from the universe.
Living in time and space, Erin, just might be the scariest, most heartbreaking, and lonely path an angel could ever choose.
Until, of course, they realize that being scared doesn’t mean they can’t make a difference, broken hearts can still love just fine, and that feeling lonely doesn’t mean they’re actually alone.
Then they’ll laugh an angel laugh, fluff their wings, and dare a new dare all over again.
Love your halo,
The Universe
Your Body Literally Glows With Light →
truthlovebeauty.tumblr.com
The human body literally glows, emitting a visible light in extremely small quantities at levels that rise and fall with the day.
Past research has shown that the body emits visible light, 1,000 times less intense than the levels which can be seen with the naked eye. In fact,…
“Homosexuality can be found in more than 1500 species [of organisms] around the world, yet there’s only one that shows homophobia.”
—youtube comment (via incolumis)
“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”
—Jack Layton (1950-2011), leader of Canada’s New Democratic Party, in a letter he asked his partner Olivia to share with Canada on his death (via undercovernun)
“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”
—J.D. Salinger (via nevver)
“We might ask ourselves how we would be reacting if Iraqi commandos landed at George W. Bush’s compound, assassinated him, and dumped his body in the Atlantic. Uncontroversially, his crimes vastly exceed bin Laden’s, and he is not a ‘suspect’ but uncontroversially the ‘decider’ who gave the orders to commit the ‘supreme international crime differing only from other war crimes in that it contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole’ (quoting the Nuremberg Tribunal) for which Nazi criminals were hanged: the hundreds of thousands of deaths, millions of refugees, destruction of much of the country, the bitter sectarian conflict that has now spread to the rest of the region.”
—Noam Chomsky, on the killing of Osama bin Laden (via lasso)
“To what extremes would you go to bring about your heart’s fondest wishes, to manifest your greatest desires, and to live your boldest dreams?”
Sometimes I’m terrified at the pulsation of life that I can feel running through me. It gears me up in unimaginable ways and causes me to make the best (and worst) decisions. I feel sometimes like I’m flying towards joy and whenever there’s the slightest hiccup in that course I am taken aback and left scratching my head with my feet on the ground. Sometimes I find myself aiming at my feet - sabotaging myself with a shot of lazy incapacity - and I have to shake my head hard, pulling out cobwebs and forcefully refocusing myself on my goals.
What’s easy is to float through this life. This city. Hedonistically. Lushly.
What’s easy is to be a whirlwind of laughter in other people’s lives. And to simply be content with my abundance.
But a smart person once told me: “whenever I stop being scared, I know it’s time to move on.” And I’ve stopped being scared of life here. There’s a strange feeling that I have this wild and boisterous city somehow under my thumb. And it’s time to throw myself for a loop again. Time to pull the rug out from under myself and explore the truths that come with new concrete, new oceans, new greenery, new loves and new pains.
Time to remove the security blanket of comfortability and to immerse myself in the terrors of life.
I have a feeling that what I’ll find won’t be the end of my life here, but instead the expansion of my universe to encompass new horizons.
And I’ll spin out love from my fingertips and draw smiles on the faces of children and men and women across the land. And I’ll let my heart burst sometimes and fight this armor that protects the tenderness of my soul. And I’ll take on all my fears with a terrified bravery, and a willingness to fail coupled with a single-minded inability to accept that I ever could.
And my dreams will come true only because I have given them up and given myself wholly to life to spin a bigger and brighter future than I could ever have imagined.
manifesto
My hunger for life is insatiable, my thirst for joy unquenchable; I will swallow my dreams whole, I will devour my most glorious future & wipe my lips with the hem of the gods; I will soar across the land on winged feet, leaving kisses on foreheads as I fly away; I will dip my toes in the oceans & splash laughter across our souls; I will love love LOVE till I’ve exhausted my inexhaustible heart; I will lose myself in the wonderment of the universe; I invite you to join me.
:secrets from my notebook. →
caitsmeissner.tumblr.com
Tears in my eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone write about me before…
This evening watching a private rehearsal of a band assembled for a midnight cabaret on Wednesday at Saachi & Sacchi, which is in an enormous fancy building off Houston with the best view of New York City I’ve ever seen & a rooftop garden run by my beloved E-town:
Piano, upright bass, drums, violin, trumpet, vocals, accordion. Before being played the accordion unfolds and wheezes the extra air from its lungs. Old man accordion. I assign each instrument a personality. The way pets begin to match their owners, so do the musical bodies. The sounds are of another era. Tango? I cannot place it, but it feels ancient. I see things— two lovers dance with a sinister fire between them burning up one another beneath the hum of a full moon. The red belly of a long flamenco skirt as the woman lifts the fabric and it smiles from the bottom up. Or, perhaps, a long narrow boat on a canal in Venice, stuffed full of colored paper flowers, some blossoms on top who’s petals diminish from the water flying off the ore as it rows in and out of the water like a man entering and exiting a woman. Standing at the helm of the boat is a man, still like a statue, a decoration. The singer, back here in the basement room at the bottom of a world-premiere advertising agency in New York City, flirts with the accordion player during the break between takes. She loves when he shakes the long note out and laughs shyly when she does it again, just to humor her.
“Put the accordion in the forefront.” The composer says his fret board is loose and is afraid the bass will explode. “Can I do fills?” The violinist asks, but the composer is seeking simplicity and bristles at the suggestion. Sparse is the actual word he uses, though the song to an untrained ear sounds far from sparse, full of flourishes, layers and conversation between each instrument. In the corner is Erin, who has welcomed everyone into this space like a ball of sunshine tumbling down a grass hill. She is big and bright. Everyone loves her and so do I. She sits perched on a tall stool opposite of me and takes some photographs, hums along. To see her so deeply in life lately moves me. She takes it between her teeth and rips it open. I am sure when it rains, the sky found its way into her mouth and she’s broke it open, too, watering us all, helping us grow.
thanks universe:
“Never regret love, Erin. No matter how blind, it improved your world view. No matter how foolish, it made you wiser. And no matter how generous, it made you more.”
Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World
For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you.
1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down. You will discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.
2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.
3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.
4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.
5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.
6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.
7. See the larger picture. Remember the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.
8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.
9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.
10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.
“The great thing about feeling deep, profound, earthshaking love, Erin, is that you can start with anyone.
Next,
The Universe”
