Alice Walker (via dahlias-y-rosas)
I fucking hope so.(via afractalparticle)
The girl next to me on the subway today had scars up and down her arms. “WE ME” was freshly carved in and I could see faint remnants of old pains etched in white along her forearms. She broke my heart.
There was a dullness in her eyes that you only see in people who are tired of life’s pain. I envisioned her pushing over that edge of self-mutilation, channeling her sadness into blood, just to feel something again. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that things would be ok. But I suspect for her they won’t be. Not if that’s where she had traveled to. Not if she’d already given in to that kind of release. It’s hard to return from that precipice.
It crushes my soul to recognize the deepness of pain. It makes me wonder why people have different tolerances for the lows that life brings. I understand depression. I understand desperation. I wish I could achieve the impossible feat of bringing people out of their misery. But, in reality, I must focus on keeping myself from yearning for nostalgia and falling into my own patterns of self-medication.
Keeping my face turned to the light; braced against darkness.
Living in time and space, Erin, just might be the scariest, most heartbreaking, and lonely path an angel could ever choose.
Until, of course, they realize that being scared doesn’t mean they can’t make a difference, broken hearts can still love just fine, and that feeling lonely doesn’t mean they’re actually alone.
Then they’ll laugh an angel laugh, fluff their wings, and dare a new dare all over again.
Love your halo,
“To what extremes would you go to bring about your heart’s fondest wishes, to manifest your greatest desires, and to live your boldest dreams?”
Sometimes I’m terrified at the pulsation of life that I can feel running through me. It gears me up in unimaginable ways and causes me to make the best (and worst) decisions. I feel sometimes like I’m flying towards joy and whenever there’s the slightest hiccup in that course I am taken aback and left scratching my head with my feet on the ground. Sometimes I find myself aiming at my feet - sabotaging myself with a shot of lazy incapacity - and I have to shake my head hard, pulling out cobwebs and forcefully refocusing myself on my goals.
What’s easy is to float through this life. This city. Hedonistically. Lushly.
What’s easy is to be a whirlwind of laughter in other people’s lives. And to simply be content with my abundance.
But a smart person once told me: “whenever I stop being scared, I know it’s time to move on.” And I’ve stopped being scared of life here. There’s a strange feeling that I have this wild and boisterous city somehow under my thumb. And it’s time to throw myself for a loop again. Time to pull the rug out from under myself and explore the truths that come with new concrete, new oceans, new greenery, new loves and new pains.
Time to remove the security blanket of comfortability and to immerse myself in the terrors of life.
I have a feeling that what I’ll find won’t be the end of my life here, but instead the expansion of my universe to encompass new horizons.
And I’ll spin out love from my fingertips and draw smiles on the faces of children and men and women across the land. And I’ll let my heart burst sometimes and fight this armor that protects the tenderness of my soul. And I’ll take on all my fears with a terrified bravery, and a willingness to fail coupled with a single-minded inability to accept that I ever could.
And my dreams will come true only because I have given them up and given myself wholly to life to spin a bigger and brighter future than I could ever have imagined.
My hunger for life is insatiable, my thirst for joy unquenchable; I will swallow my dreams whole, I will devour my most glorious future & wipe my lips with the hem of the gods; I will soar across the land on winged feet, leaving kisses on foreheads as I fly away; I will dip my toes in the oceans & splash laughter across our souls; I will love love LOVE till I’ve exhausted my inexhaustible heart; I will lose myself in the wonderment of the universe; I invite you to join me.
“Never regret love, Erin. No matter how blind, it improved your world view. No matter how foolish, it made you wiser. And no matter how generous, it made you more.”
For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you.
1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down. You will discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.
2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.
3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.
4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.
5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.
6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.
7. See the larger picture. Remember the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.
8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.
9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.
10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.
“The great thing about feeling deep, profound, earthshaking love, Erin, is that you can start with anyone.